Body Art: Precautions to be Taken

Tattoos and piercings are the rage these days. However, one wrong step can mean serious consequences for you. "Tattoos and piercings bring with them a great risk of infection. You should be careful when you are getting one done," says Dr Anuja Srirao, a general practitioner.

Clean Implements
Infected needles or tools can put you at risk of being infected. "Needles can pass pathogens. You could contract an STD from an un-sterilised needle. Ensure that the needle being used is new and has been sterilised properly," says Dr Srirao. "

This is one reason you should get your tattoos and piercings done by a reputed artist than from a random place.

Good Quality Chemicals
Getting a tattoo involves use of chemicals. Spurious chemicals give you infections or rashes. "Chemicals that are of an inferior quality may cause severe allergies or rashes, or could even be carcinogenic. Use only high quality material even if it means spending some more," says Dr Srirao. Make sure you check for the expiry dates of the ink used for your tattoo.

With piercings, ensure that you are not allergic to the metal being used. "Avoid oxidised metal or junk jewellery at all costs," says Mumbai-based general physician Saumil Kapadia. Some people report swellings and rashes when the metal used for a piercing does not suit their skin.

Professional Artists
Tattoos once done cannot be undone without having to undergo painful and expensive laser surgery or skin grafting. So, once again - remember to ensure that you are getting it done by a professional.
Gavin Crasto, a professional tattoo artist, says mistakes are common. "Many people come to me to get intricate and complex designs tattooed. If the artist isn't good enough, you will be left with something you never wanted for the rest of your life," he says. The same go for piercings. You don't want to get any piercing done at places that you will regret later.

"Avoid piercing on your chest, thighs or nipples as they contain fat tissues and can get infected easily or get an abscess. Completely avoid piecing your lip or tongue as they have a lot of blood supply and excessive bleeding could cause constant infection. Also tongue piercing is likely to come into contact with other parts of the mouth and food that could make it more prone to infections," Kapadia says.

All things considered, a tattoo or a piercing can be a great asset to flaunt provided it is done neatly. Choose the right design that goes with your image. And weigh all the pros and cons before deciding to go for a tattoo or a piercing.

Too stressed for sex!

For a stressed out nation, sex has become the new contraceptive, reports Indrani Rajkhowa Banerjee

Real estate agent Virender Rathod observed an interesting trend in his life. His sex life was up when the property prices peaked and nosedived when they came down! It didn't take the shrewd businessman much to calculate that when he was stressed, he was less frisky in bed. Funny it may be, but not every infertility story is humorous.

Stress and sex make for strange bedfellows! Although there are no exact figures, experts say infertility has gone up to almost 30 per cent in the last two decades. And stress remains the most important killer for activity between the sheets.

In a dog-eat-dog world, where work hours have expanded and leisure time shrunk, spouses hold each other's hand with cell phones stuck to their ears. Laptops and phones are must-haves on vacations. In a nuclear family, working couples who pick up their children on their way home to ready-to-eat dinners are ideal couples. Divorce rates have never been this high in history, yet there's no time to grieve or pick up the pieces.

Infertility experts and counsellors are shocked at the country's shrinking libido, thanks to stress! In a worrying trend, it's hitting as many women as men, and when they're still young. Gynaecologist Dr Meeta Shah says, "The compulsion to plan one's life down to minute details is playing havoc in urban relationships. Forget conception, both men and women are finding it difficult to even perform!"

A global survey on sexual well-being conducted by the condom manufacturer Durex shows that Indians are low on sexual satisfaction. Just 46 per cent of Indians orgasm, according to the study. And, while 55 per cent Indian males achieve orgasm, only 26 per cent Indian women can say the same.

Stress remains a constant in a country that has seen a worrying rise in male and female infertility over the years. But does stress lead to impotence? Clinically, stress can be directly responsible for erectile dysfunction. It is known to increase the production of adrenaline, while it decreases nitric oxide, which is a muscle relaxant. So, when you are stressed, nerve impulses constrict vessels and smooth muscles in the male organ, thereby reducing the blood flow that causes an erection.

According to a study by the American Psychological Association, 48 per cent of Americans report their stress levels have risen over the past five years. Surveys report that between 20 and 52 per cent of American women say their sex drive isn't what it used to be.

Says psychiatrist Dr Jitender Nagpal, "Stress is a double-edged sword. It's a key motivator, but also has a tremendous hold over our physical and psychological well-being, and therefore our sex lives."

Take this: A 2003 survey stated that Indians made love 138 times a year. The same survey put Indians at a respectable eighth place, behind a clutch of Slavic nations and the French as the nations. But, the numbers have slipped since! Today, 60 per cent Indians say that sex is fun, enjoyable, and a vital part of life. However, due to stress, only 44 per cent are fully satisfied with their sex lives.
Dr Prakash Kothari observes, "Work, family, kids, parties, networking... there's no end to hyper activities. Sexual priorities are changing for a stressed out nation. People are looking for the softer, more gentler side of sex — quality time with partners, romance and a sense of security within the bedroom."

It's surprising that with so much salacious sex happening around us, very less action is taking place in the conjugal bed! Marriage counsellor Pallavi B Gillani says, "t's true that feeling loved, respected and secure all impact strongly on our ability to achieve sexual satisfaction, but thrill is the main driver of dynamic sex."

Experts say that psychological impotence is the real killer of physical love. "Just snap out of it!" says Dr Kothari, adding, "Prevent it from ruining your sex life. Try stress management techniques — they are real and they work. Make some lifestyle changes if necessary — change your diet, exercise regularly, stop smoking and limit your alcohol intake. If your job is causing you undue stress, get a new one."

Make stress your slave, not your master. Chances are that it's all in your mind!

Flat stomach food guide

Tired of not knowing what kinds of foods to eat? Not sure how much fat, calories and sodium you should be consuming everyday? All the tips you need are here....

In addition to regular exercise, you'll also want to add some fat burning foods to your diet to help trim your waistline.

Foods that are high in protein and fibre are the best kinds of food to eat if you want to burn fat around your middle.

Did you know that it takes more energy to digest protein than it does to digest fat? So the more protein you eat, the more calories your body burns.

Eggs
Eggs are super high in protein and can help you burn that unwanted belly fat. They contain the vitamin B12 – a great supplement for breaking down fat cells.

You may have heard all the warnings about eggs and your health. That's because a couple of eggs will put you over the recommended daily amount of cholesterol.

Well, more recent studies have shown that dietary cholesterol has a minimal impact on blood cholesterol. Dietary fat is the real culprit. It's what raises your bad cholesterol levels.

However, if you're still worried about your overall cholesterol intake from eating too many eggs, you can remove the yolk and still benefit from the high protein contained in eggs.

Low fat dairy products
According to an article in Obesity Research, women who ate low-fat dairy products, such as nonfat yogurt and low-fat milk, three to four times a day, lost 70 per cent more fat than low-dairy dieters.

In another study done at Purdue University those who consumed 3 cups of fat-free milk gained less weight over the course of 2 years than those on low calcium diets.

So, not only do dairy products help you strengthen your bones, they can also play an essential role in burning that unwanted body fat.

If you are a regular consumer of milk and other dairy products, that's great, just watch your proportions and perhaps switch over to the low or no fat varieties.

Beans
While beans are often associated with the gastrointestinal disturbances they may cause, they are also very good sources of protein, fibre and iron.

Some of the best kinds of beans to eat are:
- Navy beans
- White beans
- Kidney beans
- Lima beans

And as always, limit baked and refried beans in your diet as refried beans contain tons of saturated fat, while baked beans are usually loaded in sugar. Sure, you'll be getting your protein but you'll also be consuming a lot of fat and sugar that you don't need.

Here's something else to remember. Be sure to cook your beans thoroughly because our digestive tracks are not adapted to breaking down some proteins that are contained in certain beans.

Tip: A vegetable called Edamame (pronounced ed-uh-ma-may) – an organic soybean in a pod often served at Japanese restaurants.

All you do is boil them for three minutes, add a pinch of salt and eat the soybeans out of the pods. They are surprisingly tasty and very good for you. One serving contains 10 grams of soy protein. The best place to find them is at a store that sells organic foods.

Oatmeal
While it may not be the tastiest thing you can eat, oatmeal definitely has some great nutritional qualities.

You may have noticed that many of the oatmeal brands are now boasting that eating more oatmeal will help lower your cholesterol level. That's because oatmeal is loaded with soluble fibre which helps reduce blood cholesterol by flushing those bad digestive acids out of your system.

The best kind of oatmeal to eat is unsweetened and unflavoured. While it's tempting to select the apples and cinnamon flavour and load it with butter and sugar – you really lose out on all the health benefits. If you must sweeten your bowl of oatmeal, do so by adding fruit.

Or add a spoonful of honey (much better for you than sugar) and a handful of raisins or dried cranberries.

Oatmeal is also beneficial in fighting colon cancer and heart disease.

Olive oil
Certain fats are good for you and your body needs them. Olive oil is one of those 'good fats'. In fact, it's so good that it helps you burn fat and keeps your cholesterol down.

Olive oil is rich in monounsaturated fat, a type of fat that researchers are finding provide outstanding health benefits. One ounce of extra virgin olive oil contains about 85 per cent of the daily value for monounsaturated fat.

So instead of taking a swig of orange juice in the morning, many dieters are picking up a bottle of extra virgin olive oil.

Whole grains
These days everyone seems to be screaming "No carbs!" It's as if the world has gone no-carb crazy and everyone is running from sliced breads and pastas.

Well the truth is, your body needs carbohydrates. If you go without them completely your body will start to crave them. So it's not a good idea to exclude all carbs because the right kinds are actually good for you.

It's the processed carbohydrates that are bad for you – the white breads, bagels, pastas, and white rice to name a few.

The above foods have all been processed, thus stripping out all the nutrients leaving you with loads of starch.

The key is to eat 'whole grain' foods because they haven't been processed and contain the fiber and minerals your body needs.

So don't be fooled by a loaf of bread labeled 'wheat'. Regular wheat bread is still lacking in vitamins and minerals. Manufacturers add molasses to it so it turns brown.

Don't let them trick you. The only kind of bread that's good for you is the kind that's labeled 'whole grain'.

Meat and fish
Turkey and beef are great for building muscle and boosting the immune system, but as always you have to be careful as:

Basted turkeys are usually injected with fatty substances while beef contains saturated fat. If you are going to eat beef, be sure to consume the leanest cuts you can find by looking for 'loin' or 'round' on the labels.

Salmon and tuna are also good sources of protein. They both contain omega-3 fatty acids which may sound bad, but are actually healthy fats. These two foods are also good for giving your immune system a nice boost and should be consumed at least thrice a week.

Love is a powerful painkiller

Intense romantic love is like a drug and can be as effective as morphine in relieving pain, says a new study.

Passions triggered by the early flushes of a relationship block physical pain in a similar way to painkillers and drugs.

Scientists in the US tested the theory on a group of male and female university students who were in the passionate early stages of a love affair.

They were shown photos of their partners while a computer-controlled heat probe placed in the palms of their hands delivered mild doses of pain, reports The Telegraph.

At the same time, the students had their brains scanned by a functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) machine.

The study showed that feelings of love, triggered by seeing a photo of one's beloved, acted as a powerful pain killer.

Focusing on a photo of an attractive acquaintance rather than a relationship partner did not have the same benefit.

The scans revealed that the effects of love could be compared with those of morphine and cocaine, both of which target the brain's 'reward centres'.

Sean Mackey, study leader at Stanford University Medical Centre in California, said: 'When people are in this passionate, all-consuming phase of love, there are significant alterations in their mood that are impacting their experience of pain.

14 Secrets Of Happy Couples

Sometimes the biggest problem that couples in our country face is the lack of communication. There is always a mind-block; a sense of embarrassment to share thoughts and feelings, especially once the physical intimacy sets in. But as this Shine.com story will tell you, the biggest secret to having a happy relationship is having a wholesome communication with your partner.

Take a look at some crucial steps to have a satisfying relationship as on HybridMom:

1. Communicate – not just about your feelings – but about your day. Share stories with one another about what is going on at work or in a friend’s life; share what you saw on the news or in a magazine with your significant other if you found it interesting. Discussing regular day to day occurrences is just as important as staying in tune with each others’ feelings. It keeps you in tune with your spouse on a daily basis.

2. Take showers together – it doesn’t have to be sexual! My husband and I have done this from the beginning of our relationship, did it start out sexual? Probably. But over time it became an intimate thing, just extra time that we can spend together catching up on the day – it just happens that we are naked and in the shower!

3. Go to the park and swing, slide or just play – it’s a young and fun thing to do. It keeps you playful and is a great way to relieve stress. Real life can get so with overwhelming with work, kids, bills, laundry, chores – sometimes a play break is what’s needed to alleviate all of that, even if it’s only for half an hour.

4. Take walks – morning walks are a great way to start your day, not a morning person? Take an evening walk. Getting fresh air and exercise together is good for your health and the health of your relationship. Walking relieves stress, keeps you fit and allows quality time to be spent together.

5. Date nights – put everything on hold for an hour or two and plan on just doing something alone with your spouse. It can be dinner, a walk, the mall, whatever, just make the time for just the two of you with no one else around, catch up on your day or week or just joke around and have fun. But making time for just the two of you is important.

10 golden rules to keep romance alive in relationships

There are plenty of things, big or small, that can wreck an otherwise great relationship. Now, Dr Barton Goldsmith, a California-based psychotherapist and the author of '100 Ways to Boost Your Self-Confidence - Believe in Yourself and Others Will Too' reveals what all can kill romantic relationships and how to save it from falling apart.

1. Money: It's the root of all evils, as they say. If a partner has been unscrupulous, getting the trust back can be a challenge, reports the Sydney Morning Herald.

2. Sex/infidelity: A sexless marriage or unfaithfulness can extinguish love quicker than blowing out a candle. Don't let the flame burn out and try to renew your sex life.

3. Disrespect: Research shows that belittling, insulting or yelling at your partner can cut the chances of your relationship's survival.

4. Children: Some live for them, others would rather kill themselves. Make sure to keep things in balance with your partner, so you have the energy to deal with any child issues.

5. Opposite-sex friends: If you don't want your spouse/partner to dine out and have drinks with a member of the opposite sex, then you need to follow the same guidelines.

. Resentments: Don't hold your pain, hurt or anger inside. If you are harbouring some resentment talk it out and put the matter to rest, so you can enjoy your relationship.

7. Lying/broken promises: Even if you're afraid of getting in trouble, tell the whole truth and don't break promises, and find a way to make up for past mistakes.

8. Laziness: Keeping a relationship is hard work, and if you are unwilling to do it, your connection will diminish and you will begin to resent your partner.

9. Being mean: If you punish your partner when you don't get your way, or if the two of you give each other the silent treatment, you are headed for a lifetime of emotional pain. Stop the nastiness and learn to talk about it.

10. Discomfort/remodelling. If you are living in a construction zone, it's pretty hard to feel comfortable. Injury or illness can create a similar situation. Your home should be a place of serenity, so if you are remodelling or are dealing with physical issues, make your comfort a priority. (ANI)

Let’s Talk About Sex, Baby

The key to a successful marriage essentially lies in understanding sex-equations. Unless you are in a same-sex marriage it is imperative to understand that opposite genders react to situations differently. If we learn to understand and acknowledge the differences and respond accordingly, we can avoid a lot of heart-burn.

So what are the conflict zones and what are the red flags we must watch out for?


Sex: Whether it’s daily, weekly or monthly, sex is an integral part of your married life. Marriage advice always stresses on how we should never take our fights to bed, sex should never be used to settles scores in a fight. That said, we must concede that when there are unresolved issues and nagging bubbles on our mind, activity between the sheets is the last thing you will feel inclined towards. So if you don’t want sex to become a weapon, make sure you resolve fights/disagreements before you head to bed.


Time: It is important to spend quality time with each, especially these days when most couples work five or six days a week. Every weekend you can’t be socializing with friends and relatives, you need to keep time aside for a special lunch or a late night movie together or to simply just watch television at home together.


Counterview: While it is important to spend time with each other, it is not always essential that you do everything together. Both of you need time out, so plan your boys/gals night out, catch up with a friend for lunch or dinner, party without your spouse. Do your own thing every once in while, you need to.

Share: Gone are the days when men and women played gender-specific roles in marriage, the husband was the sole bread-winner in the family and the housewife by definition took care of the home and children.

When both partners enjoy the benefits of a double-income household, the onus of domestic chores also lies on both of them. Whether it be cooking, doing dishes or helping change diapers make sure you share responsibilities and work together to stop stressing over to-do lists. It can be overwhelming for an individual and can later breed contempt when you are caught in the same routine without any help.

Decisions: Discuss, even if both of you don’t completely agree, make sure there is some consensus on the many decisions you take every day. There is nothing as annoying as individualistic decision-making in a marriage. Whether it is the choice of a restaurant when you are dining out or the colour of your first car, make sure there is some sort of agreement with your partner. If you have a strong reason to refute, try to show them a valid reason for why you are differing rather than stubbornly sticking to your point.

Finance: It’s all about money honey! Well, that might not be completely true but it’s good to have clarity in money matters in a marriage. If you follow the “Your money is my money and my money is your money” rule in your marriage and if that works for you, awesome! However, there is a need to be particular about expenses, savings and clarity in planning your finances. The financial burden should never fall on just one person and no matter what the disparities in the respective incomes are, there is a need to budget expenditure and prepare for eventualities.

Disclaimer: I don’t claim to be a relationship expert but we all learn our own lessons and a little fine tuning can go a long way in making your married life fun. Like I said it all begins with understanding that each of us as individuals react very differently to every situation depending on our unique personalities. The trick lies in not always trying to mould the other person to your needs but trying to work out the best possible situation.

Marriage doesn’t come with a guarantee card; no matter how many right questions you ask and right things you do there is always a chance that something might go wrong. But if you work towards it, it might be that one thing in your life that is consistent and that keeps you going. I have been a part of two such celebrations and there is no greater feeling than standing with your partner celebrating 50 or 60 years of togetherness and wondering how you managed to hold on despite all the odds and challenges.

How to tell if he's your Mr. Perfect

How do you tell if the man you are observing is the one for you? Gian Gonzaga, dating website eHarmony's senior director and a social-psychologist, advises on how to find out if your new love is likely to last.

Read each other's mind - If you find yourselves saying the same thing at the same time, or reading each other's minds, it means that you have achieved a deep level of understanding.

Sexy psychology - Research shows physical attractiveness can change as you grow more psychologically attracted to a partner, but it doesn't work in reverse.

"You would rather be attracted psychologically because physical attraction is pliable. People can become more physically attracted to each other the more connected they become," The Daily Telegraph quoted Gonzaga as saying.

A little bit same and a little bit different - While sharing core values is important, there are places where differences can be beneficial.

"Core values are deal breakers or deal makers because values end up driving a lot of our ideas and behaviour," he said.

You're right - If your new squeeze makes you feel right about your worldview there's a good chance you're on to a winning relationship.

Shows love - It's a good sign if your new man is cooking you dinner and checking in each day to see how you are, but not quite so flattering if he acts in the same way with his sister, mother and best mate.

Some signs to look out for, however, are disagreement over every opinion, conflicts right at the start of the relationship, stonewalling and inequality.

Now, a math formula to find you your perfect lover

Math has solved many a complex equations over the years, and now it can also find you the perfect answer to who might be the best lover for you.

Anthropologist Barnaby Dixson studied what the sexes found attractive in a partner across cultures.

According to news.com.au, Dixson said the same formula for what men favoured in women came up almost every single time- a waist-to-hip ratio of 0.7.

Which means, a waist measurement exactly 70 per cent of the hip circumference is the perfect number.

And who are the lucky ones who already have it? Actor Jessica Alba, Marilyn Monroe, Victoria's Secret Angel Alessandra Ambrosio and supermodel Kate Moss.

Avoid an ugly break-up!

Ending your relationship can be a messy affair, but here’s how you can avoid creating an ugly scene

Not all relationships last a lifetime and often it’s best to end things before they get ugly. So, now you have decided to break up with your girlfriend/boyfriend. But don’t think it’s an easy job. It’s likely that the other person still has feelings for you, so try and ensure that you end things graciously so that a beautiful relationship doesn’t end with an ugly fight.

Don’t break up at a public place:
While you may have gotten used to the idea of breaking up your girlfriend/boyfriend may need sometime to get used to the idea. So ensure that there’s some privacy when you are breaking up. You wouldn’t want to be a part of an ugly scene or fight and be a spectacle for those at the joint.

Don’t get into it at your usual hang out:
Break-ups can be messy, so don’t opt for a place that you are likely to frequent. In case you don’t part of absolutely amicable terms at least people who know you won’t be a witness to any kinds of fight.

Don’t be too casual:
Don’t break up while you are doing some mundane task like picking up groceries or chomping on a huge burger. Give your relationship and your partner some respect and plan how you want to go ahead with it.

Breaking up over sms or email:
While this may work for some, it may prove to be hara-kiri for others. Those who cannot express themselves may find the options of writing an email or a letter very appealing and it’s not a bad option considering it allows you to elaborate your feelings. Also, it’s prefect for those who prefer to avoid confrontation. Breaking up over SMS, however, can be highly insensitive. After all 160 characters can’t be enough to end a relationship. However, breaking up over SMS too has its share of fans and has worked for many people.

Avoid breaking up over networking sites:
Those status message or pictures that you post are seen by so many people. Do you want all of them to be witness to your break-up? Plus if your break up is not an amicable one, do you want them to enjoy a mud slinging match between your and your girlfriend/boyfriend?

The slow and steady way:
The best way to break up often turns out to be the slow and steady way. This is where you make your partner realise that things are not working out between you. Give him/her sometime to get used to the idea, so that when you go for the ‘big’ talk, it doesn’t come as a nig surprise for him/her.

Don’t put all the blame on your partner:
Don’t go hammer and tongs at your girlfriend/boyfriend when you decide to give that big break up speech. Be practical and tell your partner that this is what you think would be best for you.

Don’t make false promises:
Even if your partner gets highly emotional or cries buckets, don’t make false promises like ‘I’ll think about it’ or ‘maybe we can give it another shot’, unless you really mean it. Once you feel that a relationship is going nowhere it’s silly to keep dragging it just because you care for the other person. Understand the difference between friendship and love and act accordingly

It’s amazing how sometimes we’re overwhelmed by the simple pleasures of life. Like a few words of reassurance, a compliment, a look of the eyes that tells you it’s one of genuine concern, a squeeze of the hand, a kiss, a hug or even a phone call.

It’s a pity that we often overlook them in our daily grind and look for more expensive means to tackle our depression, insecurity, self-doubt, self pity, and the works. And thanks to our myopic vision, the psychologists, marriage counsellors, education counsellors, and whathaveyous are having a field day out there.

Relationships and marriages are the worst sufferers. They are falling apart like nine pins because neither can take the stress at work and obviously they don’t have the patience or tolerance to hear each other out amicably once back home. The war’s given up even before it’s begun. They agree a third party intervention is essential to sort their personal matters out. And sharing confidential information with third parties always come for a price. A rather hefty one at that. But no worries, there’s enough disposable income to waste on the quirks. One’s pain and loss provides vicarious emotional and financial pleasure to another.

“Am in love” is a phrase that has been duly replaced with “Am going steady” “or am in a relationship”. Being in love, feeling the warmth of his/her presence, wallowing in love, blinded by love are all passé and one runs the risk of being branded an emotional fool. It’s all about a “workable relationship” now. Will it or won’t it work. Simple.

Move aside, heart. Step in, head. Don’t dream about those never-ending walks into the sunset or the cosy rain-soaked cuddle. Just do it, sing those romantic songs and dance around a few trees, if you must.

Don’t just plunge in and say “I love you.” Think of the kind of “investments” you need to make and the various “exit plans” you must keep handy before saying “I Do”.

Alas, why didn’t I think of these ever? Haven’t made any investments, nor do I have an exit plan. Just plunged into the deep end and swimming my way through. Is my future doomed? Or am I just being an incurable romantic?

At the risk of all those rotten tomatoes landing in my comment section, I’d still say: People, save that money, take some time off to sit down and look into each other’s eyes, hold that hand, smile, hug and kiss. And, when you are miles away, just call. Priceless ways of working wonders on that mind and heart.

Hug

A hug is a form of physical intimacy, not necessarily sexual, that usually involves closing or holding the arms around another person or group of persons. The hug is one of the most common human signs of love and affection, along with kissing.Unlike some other forms of physical intimacy, it is practiced publicly and privately without stigma in many countries, religions and cultures, within families, and also across age and gender lines.

Sometimes, hugs are a romantic exchange. Hugs may also be exchanged as a sign of support and comfort. A hug can be a demonstration of affection and emotional warmth, sometimes arising out of joy or happiness at meeting someone.

Brief in most cases, it is used to show many levels of affection. It is not particular to human beings alone, as there are many species of animals that engage in similar exchanges of warmth.

Hugging has been proven to have health benefits. One study has shown that hugs increase levels of oxytocin, and reduce blood pressure.

There are different variations of hugs. Prolonged hugging in a cozy, comfortable position is called cuddling. Spooning is a cuddling position, a kind of hugging when both the hugger and the hugged persons face the same direction, i.e., the front of one person is in contact with the back of the second one. The person whose front is in contact with the other's back is referred to as the "Big Spoon" and the person whose back is in contact with the other's front in referred to as the "Little Spoon".

In May 2009, the New York Times reported that "the hug has become the favorite social greeting when teenagers meet or part these days" in the United States.

Despite hugging being widespread across human culture, several cultures - such as the Himba in Namibia - do not embrace as a sign of affection or love.

Six things not to say on a date!

Do you wonder why the hazel or brown or maybe that blue-eyed girl suddenly left you amidst a conversation which you felt was interesting or why the handsome hunk didn’t call you back after the first date? We tell you things you shouldn’t say on a date.

My dog is my first love!
Even if a guy loves pets, he definitely doesn’t want to be fed pet talk on a date. So completely avoid the topic with him - you'll know soon enough that he doesn't share the same passion. Confessed software engineer Prashant Nag, “My first girlfriend was obsessed with her dog. Whenever we met at her place, I had to bear with all the drooling and cajoling. Fearing she might feel hurt, once I requested her to lock her dog inside a room, to which she freaked out. I walked off and never called her again.”

My job sucks!
It is a big turn off to be around a person who’s forever cribbing. If you are not in a good mood, it’s better to cancel the date instead of spending hours sulking and boring the guy to death. “I had a bad day at work and in the evening I had a date with an interesting guy. My mood was so black that I complained the whole evening. He did look bored but after that evening he never took my calls again,” says call center executive Shikha Tikka.

‘I support the Congress’ Guys and girls, it’s time to know that no one wants to know your political inclinations and that too on a date. Stay away from such subjects. The rule is to keep it light and interesting!

‘My parents are pushing me to get married’
It won't be a great start if on the very first date you start reciting your marital dreams. Admits freelance writer Pushkin, “I met this interesting girl at a pub and we started chatting. Soon after, she told me about her sister’s marriage and how her parents are now finding a boy for her. It was such a put off. I soon found my way out of the place, sans her.”

‘I hate chocolates, they are so fattening’
So, you are careful about what you eat? It maybe good for your health and body, but definitely not a good thing to say on your first date. “Knowing that every girl loves chocolate, I took a bar of Swiss chocolate for her expecting her to jump with joy. But she made a sad face and said: ‘You think a person like me will risk eating chocolates?’ And this was not it; she didn’t let me order anything proper,” says college student Satvik Sharma.

‘Don’t drive so slow!’
Don’t hurt a guy’s feelings by telling him ‘you are too adventurous.’

Keep Your Husband Happy

Female Intuition
It comes natural to most females to have that mother instinct, that certain feeling that when something is wrong with your children you know it. Well you must use this same instinct with your mate.

You can read his body language, listen to his words and read between the lines when needed. Look into his eyes, watch his facial expressions. Just make sure you always notice if his habits are changing. Keep in tune with his needs and wants.

Be aware if he is not talking as much? Is he coming home later than usual? Is he drinking or smoking more? Is he avoiding answering his cell phone when he sees your number?

Well maybe it's time to put a little fire back into the romance and keep it there, to keep your husband Happy, before someone eles does.

Do What Comes Natural
1- Give him a good morning kiss or hug when he wakes up.

If you wake up beside him in the bed, snuggle next to him and put your head on his chest, and put his arm around you. He'll love that feeling of protecting you with his strong arm holding you close.

2- Listen to his same old stories and jokes again and again.

Sure you've heard them a million times, and sometimes you roll your eyes to the top of your head or mimic every word waiting for the end of an outcome you know too well. But just think back to when you first started dating or just got married and he told these funny or interesting little anecdotes.

Think about your smiles and your laughter you gave him then, come on you remember, come on, now bring those feelings to the present moment when he's on stage again. Enjoy the moment, and be the positive audience he wants and needs you to be. This will keep your husband happy.

3- Give him a shoulder massage when he comes home from work.

If you are there when he arrives, take his brief case or bag and set it down. Immediately start massaging his shoulders while he is standing. Lead him over to a chair and sit him down, while you continue to relax him. You don't have to be an expert masseuse.

This will help to ease the tension of a hard days work. As you are massaging him ask him how was his day. And really listen as he tells you. If you feel your massaging skills are a little rusty, no problem, just Google "massage techniques" for some ideas.

4- Buy him 2 tickets to his favorite Sports game.

What's his favorite sport? Every man seems to be interested in one sport or another. Does he like golf, baseball, basketball, football, hockey, soccor, rugby, drag racing... Whatever sport turns him on, treat him and his best buddy to tickets to an upcoming event. His buddy can be you or one of your children, or grand-dad or whomever he chooses.

If buying 2 tickets to his favorite sport is not in the budget, never fear, here is what you can do. Order a sports event on cable. This will be less expensive than the actual tickets, and your cable company will bill you later on your momthly bill.

No cable. No problem. Schedule some alone time for him to watch his favotite event on TV. Have some beer in the fridge or whatever his drink is. Have his favorite snacks on the table, and his favorite dinner ready for him, on a plate in the fridge as well. Tell him about the food, so he can pop it in the oven during half time.

Leave the house, take the kids and any other relatives and pets. Monitor the game from your car radio so you will know when to arrive back home. Go shopping, visiting, to a park, etc., enjoy your time away as well.

Give him at least 45 mins to an hour after the game is over before you return. This will give him time to savor the good feelings he has about enjoying his favorite sport. Plus it will give him a little time to himself, and a chance to start missing you as well. Doing this for him once in a while will definetly keep your husband happy.

Sweets For Your Sweets
5- Put his favorite candy on his pillow.

Once you or him have made the bed (just like they do at the hotels).leave him a treat. If you don't know what his favorite candy is that's ok for now. But he is your husband and this is something you must find out and add to your memory bank. Just notice what gum he always chews or what mint he likes and put one or two of these on or under his pillow now and then.

6- Bake him a birthday cake.

Hey, it's his birthday. Don't order a cake from the bakery. Simply find an easy cake recipe on Google, and bake the cake yourself. If you feel you don't have the time to do this or just dont want do. It's still easy. Go to any grocery store: Buy 1 box of Betty Crocker, Pillsbury or other cake mix. Follow the easy baking instructions on the package, Add icing to the finished cake and put your special message on the icing using a different color icing or a tube of icing (which is easy to write with).The tube of icing is easily found in the cake mix isle at almost any grocery store. He'll love that you took the time out to bake it yourself.

7- Help him watch his diet. Don't have too many sweets and fattening foods around the house. Always fix his favorite foods using low salt, low fat, low cholesteral, low calorie and low sugar whenever possible. Become an expert nutritionist for yourself, your husband and your other family members and friends.

Dont Take His Feelings For Granted
8- Don't ever disrespect him in front of his friends.

This is a definite NO NO. No matter what the disagreement or situation, wait until you both get alone to iron out the problem. This cannot be stressed enough. A man's male ego is a super powerful source of strength. If you knock his ego down in front of his friends or relatives. You may crush him so bad that it will be very hard for him to forgive you. He may want to forget about the incident but his friends may remind him, or just being around them can be a constant reminder of how you dissed him in their eyesight.

9- Don't bring the car back with the gas tank on almost empty.

If you use his car or the two of you share the car don't always let him be the one to fill up the gas tank. When possible get a fill up once in a while. If your money will not allow a fill up, at the very least put back the gas in the tank on the same gallon mark it was on when you started your errands .example: 1/4 tank, 1/2 tank, 3/4 tank etc.. You may not be able to do this everytime, but when you do he will appreciate it very much.

10- Don't talk while he's watching his favorite TV show.

If he initiates the conversation, be breif with your comments or answers to his questions. Don't add conversation about the kids and school problems, leaky faucet troubles, bill problems, etc. Treat his TV time just like you would if you were at the movie theatre, and quietly respect the relaxing and enjoyable atmosphere.

LOVE Is In The Air
11-Tell him you Love him.

It doesn't hurt to hear the words once in a while. When was the last time you told him? Just don't think that he is suppose to know you love him since you're still with him after all these years. Actually say the words "I Love You" to him daily or a few times a week. Watch the difference it makes in his love expressions to you.

12- Let Him Be The Man He Was Meant To Be.

Let him take care of you physically, financially, and gallantly. This will keep your husband happy. Chivalry is alive and well.

Touch for Rapture Rather Than Effect

Once I had a client-couple, Arthur and Ellie (not their real names). Arthur loved making out with her, and she loved his enthusiasm and attention. He loved the way she felt—there was something about her smooth and creamy skin, and the way she responded with such delight to his loving and passionate touch. Yet (and she felt guilty just thinking about it, because she knew he was trying so hard) Ellie often found it hard to fully surrender to his touch. Sometimes she felt almost as if she were resisting it! This made no sense to her—he was so enthusiastic and passionate!

Arthur (being the sensitive soul that he is) noticed this (eventually) and thought, “I should focus even more on making sure this feels really good to Ellie. I want her to fall in love with the way I make love with her.” So he’d try even harder to get the good effects. And while Ellie appreciated his intention, the more he turned up his efforts, the less what he did felt good to her.

Every woman wants as much love, care, and attention, just like Art was giving to Ellie! Why wasn’t their strategy working? Should I have told Arthur to try less to please her?

Arthur was following a common strategy: he was trying to make it feel good to her. Well—doesn’t that make sense? I call this strategy “touching for effect.” You are touching for effect when your goal is to make the other person feel pleasure.

Touching for effect puts your attention on you (“How am I doing?”) rather than on your partner—and your partner can feel this. Pleasure occurs in the present moment, not in the future. Great pleasure comes from playfulness and exploration, not from trying to make something wonderful happen.

Here’s what happens with the touch-for-effect strategy:

•Your partner can feel that you are not engaging with them in the present moment. They can feel that your attention is on your performance—not really on their pleasure.
•Because your attention is on how well you’re performing, it isn’t on your pleasure either—so you actually feel less than you could. The less you can feel, the less you are aware of (and can respond to) what your partner is feeling. If you think they can’t tell this is happening, ask them

Why We Flirt: The Science of Sex

It’s so natural, we barely even notice we do it. Tilting a head to expose the neck, smiling or laughing at something that really wasn’t funny, moving closer to the person making unfunny jokes, mimicking their actions. Our body language is perhaps the most subtle expression of what we’re really thinking and feeling, and is a crucial component of the courting dance known as flirting.

Though cheesy pick-up lines abound, a lot is conveyed even before words are uttered. A prolonged gaze or arched eyebrow gives clues to the person across the bar that you’re interested without having to explicitly ask about his/her sign. Though the statistics differ, some attribute almost 80 percent of our first impressions to our stance and swagger. And because flirting helps both animals and humans find mates faster and easier, it is an evolutionary trait hard-wired in our brains. Mice twitch their noses at potential mates, colorful peacocks strut around for admiring peahens, and pigeons puff their chests to look buff. As much as we have moved on from mice and feathers, we do much of the same, for the exact same reasons.

Genetic Peacockery
Because flirting is an easy way for us to display our genes, mating potential, and interest, nature put a lot toward its success. This is one of the reasons why some males birds have exotic plumes, why elk carry hefty antlers (a sign of a healthy immune system), and why male fiddler crabs have such large claws. He waves his in the air, alerting females to his whereabouts, and signaling them to come closer for a better look at his burrow, colorful shell, and flashy claw.

Much in the same way, we’re physically programmed to indicate interest almost before we mentally have a say in it. Slight actions reveal a lot. Stance, eye movement, and gestures like leaning forward to talk to the person, or quick eyebrow raises are what scientists call contact engagement, signaling to the other mammal that you’re prepared for things to potentially get physical. Perhaps most importantly, these signals show that you’re not intending to dominate or flee. Or not just yet, anyhow.

tips for boys to love some girl

The following are the tips for boys to love some girl:
Make a cassette tape of your and her favorite love songs, then record (in your voice) a special, romantic message at the end!


Write her a Love poem.


Leave little notes around telling her things you love about her.


Let her rest her head in your lap.


If she's feeling stressed out, give her a massage and help her work out a better way to do things.


Surprise him with a candle-lit dinner.


Let her wear your clothes. It's almost guaranteed she'll look better in one of your button down shirts than you do. (Kind of sexy too!)


If she makes dinner, offer to do the dishes.


Always be a gentleman--hold the door for her.


Give her the same respect you enjoy from her.


Make an effort to get to know (and if you can, love) her family.

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Please Hear What I'm Not Saying

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear for I wear a mask,
a thousand masks,
masks that I'm afraid to take off,
and none of them is me.

Pretending is an art that's second nature with me,
but don't be fooled, for God's sake don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure,
that all is sunny and unruffled with me,
within as well as without,
that confidence is my name and coolness my game,
that the water's calm and I'm in command and that I need no one,
but don't believe me.
My surface may seem smooth but my surface is my mask,
ever-varying and ever-concealing.
Beneath lies no complacence.
Beneath lies confusion, and fear, and aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness exposed.
That's why I frantically create a mask to hide behind,
a nonchalant sophisticated facade,
to help me pretend,
to shield me from the glance that knows.

But such a glance is precisely my salvation,
my only hope, and I know it.
That is, if it's followed by acceptance,
if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself,
from my own self-built prison walls,
from the barriers I so painstakingly erect.
It's the only thing that will assure me of what I can't assure myself,
that I'm really worth something.
But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare to, I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid your glance will not be followed by acceptance,
will not be followed by love.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me,
that you'll laugh, and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing
and that you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate pretending game,
with a facade of assurance without and a trembling child within.
So begins the glittering but empty parade of masks,
and my life becomes a front.
I tell you everything that's really nothing,
and nothing of what's everything,
of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine
do not be fooled by what I'm saying.
Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying,
what I'd like to be able to say,
what for survival I need to say,
but what I can't say.

I don't like hiding.
I don't like playing superficial phony games.
I want to stop playing them.
I want to be genuine and spontaneous and me
but you've got to help me.
You've got to hold out your hand
even when that's the last thing I seem to want.
Only you can wipe away from my eyes
the blank stare of the breathing dead.
Only you can call me into aliveness.
Each time you're kind, and gentle, and encouraging,
each time you try to understand because you really care,
my heart begins to grow wings--
very small wings,
very feeble wings,
but wings!

With your power to touch me into feeling
you can breathe life into me.
I want you to know that.
I want you to know how important you are to me,
how you can be a creator--an honest-to-God creator--
of the person that is me if you choose to.
You alone can break down the wall behind which I tremble,
you alone can remove my mask,
you alone can release me from my shadow-world of panic,
from my lonely prison,
if you choose to.
Please choose to.

Do not pass me by.
It will not be easy for you.
A long conviction of worthlessness builds strong walls.
The nearer you approach to me the blinder I may strike back.
It's irrational, but despite what the books say about man
often I am irrational.
I fight against the very thing I cry out for.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls
and in this lies my hope.
Please try to beat down those walls
with firm hands but with gentle hands
for a child is very sensitive.

Who am I, you may wonder?
I am someone you know very well.
For I am every man you meet
and I am every woman you meet.

What do Men Want to Hear

Unlike what we might be brought up to believe, men have emotional needs too and there are certain phrases that most men would love to hear to feel appreciated. Unfortunately for fear of sounding silly, for pride or timidity we don’t tell our men often enough how much we appreciate them. Can you remember when was the last time you sincerely thanked your man for something he did for you? Or can you honestly say when was the last time you gave a compliment to your boyfriend or husband? Once in a long term relationship, most women have a tendency to take their men for granted.

With this in mind I have collected a few phrases that I think men would like to hear from their women. Come on, join in and tell us which are the phrases that you would like to hear the most from your woman. And you girls tell us which are in your opinion the most romantic, complimentary or sexy thing you’ve ever told your man.

Phrases for the romantic:
1.“I like you”. To whisper these little 3 words with a languid accent has an incomparable power over a man’s ego. We will hug you and be proud of having you by his side.

2.“I trust you, I know you can do it”. This is a really magic phrase it proves the confidence you have in him, in his physical and mental strength. Men love this one as it makes them feel almighty powerful. Also you can use this phrase when you want your man to do something for you. For example if you want him to change the wallpaper in your room or take care of your cat while you go on vacation, all you need do is to whisper this phrase and he will be proud to do whatever you are asking him to do.

Phrases for the romantic:
1.“I like you”. To whisper these little 3 words with a languid accent has an incomparable power over a man’s ego. We will hug you and be proud of having you by his side.

2.“I trust you, I know you can do it”. This is a really magic phrase it proves the confidence you have in him, in his physical and mental strength. Men love this one as it makes them feel almighty powerful. Also you can use this phrase when you want your man to do something for you. For example if you want him to change the wallpaper in your room or take care of your cat while you go on vacation, all you need do is to whisper this phrase and he will be proud to do whatever you are asking him to do.
Phrases for the romantic:

1.“I like you”. To whisper these little 3 words with a languid accent has an incomparable power over a man’s ego. We will hug you and be proud of having you by his side.

2.“I trust you, I know you can do it”. This is a really magic phrase it proves the confidence you have in him, in his physical and mental strength. Men love this one as it makes them feel almighty powerful. Also you can use this phrase when you want your man to do something for you. For example if you want him to change the wallpaper in your room or take care of your cat while you go on vacation, all you need do is to whisper this phrase and he will be proud to do whatever you are asking him to do.

3."You're the best". I don’t think this one needs explaining.

4." I am so lucky I met you" For him this means “you are marvellous, absolutely great and more important you make love like a God !”

5.“What would I do without you” this is another ego booster. This is the perfect phrase for those situations when you are in trouble and he saves you. Like for example the day your car breaks down and he drives you to your workplace, or the afternoon when your nanny is sick and he offers to look after the children while you go out shopping with your girlfriends.

6."We are a team, baby!", this is perfect to let him know that you support him, that you are a couple and his aspirations are important for you.